It gets personal
What to say when someone raises their voice at you
“I can see this matters a lot. Can we take five minutes and pick it up again?”
It acknowledges what they feel without matching their volume, and offers a pause that lets you both come back calmer.
What is happening
The instinct is "you can’t talk to me like that", and it hands them the decision. Staying calm, naming what you want, and suggesting a pause keeps you the steadiest person in the room.
Keep your own voice lower and slower than usual. If they agree to the break, name a time to pick it up.
If they push back
They may want to settle it there and then. They might say:
“No, we’re sorting this now.”
Stay with them, and slow it down:
“All right. Let’s take it one point at a time. What matters most to you here?”
The part this page cannot settle
There are two other ways to say this, one softer and one firmer. Which one fits depends on who is shouting, why, and whether anyone else is in the room. Choosing well is most of the work.
The Complete Lines has all three for this moment and for every other one, sorted by what is happening to you. If you have a meeting about it coming up, the first page helps you work out what to say before you walk in, and it is free.